If someone whom you love would die at this moment, how would you react? What questions are you going to ask to God?
I think I would feel the same with those normal people. I feel in pain and hate and sometimes, wish I died. But, if I would, am I not selfish? On how you react to life will changed once you know God? Christians think when someone died they are bless and joyful because a family member(s) had gone home to the Almighty Father in Heaven.
If one of my families would die, I wouldn’t blame God because I understand now why we have to live. It takes so much courage to face death and accept it. It is the common fear of human being. It takes time and grace to understand God’s thoughts. Sometimes, loads are so heavy to carry. It is easy to say than done. But, love and grace matters after all. Later on you will accept the fact that we live to die for unconditional love.
My belief of after life actively influences my emotional reactions to dying. I believe that a person who is ready to die is ready to live. Are you ready to die? If not, check how you live.
It reached me to the point of realization to prepare not on this earth but life after death. I have to prepare in all aspects of my being when parental death happens. I must have to assume responsibility because I am the eldest sibling. Still, it is human nature that incidents might bother me to experience upon losing someone you love the most.
At age of 18, I have started to detach myself from my family. Yes, you might think I am selfish. But, that is the only way to lose my string attached to them and live life independently but dependent to God alone. Being alone is challenging. You have to pray hard or else you gone astray. You have to remind yourself about your purpose being in solitary life.
I feel free about being myself with someone who loves me for real but it scares to lose him someday. Anytime, we leave away from your family because of marriage but when you fall for someone whom you want to be with forever, I thought it would be easy to let go when death comes along and apart your ways but it is not. It breaks you into pieces. I wish I could stop death have I had a choice. All I need to do is to let go.
Death is inevitable. We are never ready for that but at least you live your life to the fullest and you understand His will for your life. It is worth dying when you know where to go from here.